It’s trite, but true to say that “Divorce is a huge decision.” Just the word divorce conjures up thoughts of finality and permanence, and those thoughts can be intimidating. While the decision to divorce is ultimately up to you or your spouse, we may be able to get you thinking about some indicators that could answer the question “Should I get a divorce?”
Weigh the Good with the Bad
When couples have trouble in their marriage, it’s natural to focus on the bad. Try stepping out of that to view your marriage objectively, and then ask yourself “Is there any part of my marriage that’s worth saving?” If there’s even a shred of your marriage that you think is worth keeping, then you may want to think twice before getting a divorce. Conversely, if you believe that the bad far outweighs any benefit your marriage produces, then it may be time to consult with a Rancho Cucamonga divorce attorney at Chung & Ignacio, LLP.
Consider Frequency
How often do you and your spouse argue? Is it a consistent, ongoing pattern of disagreement? Or a rough patch that you can see yourself getting through? Once you diagnose how often arguments happen, try evaluating what your marriage would look like without them. If you can remove the arguments and disagreements from the situation and you’re still not confident in the state of your marriage, it may be time to consider your divorce options.
Think Back
When considering whether to end your marriage, go back to the beginning and remember why you got married in the first place. By tracing your relationship back to its origins, it may remind you of the good your marriage produces. If the reasons why you got married in the first place are no longer true of your spouse, you may want to seriously consider ending the union.
Try Counseling
It can be difficult to let others in – it’s only natural to want to keep your business your business, but counseling can be extremely beneficial in helping you evaluate your relationship and look at it from your spouse’s eyes. Does marriage counseling actually work? If you hire the right counselor and go into it with an open mindset, it can! Even if you do end up calling it quits, marriage counseling is not a waste because it can help you decide whether you should or should not pursue divorce.
Change What You Can Control
You cannot change what you cannot control, and that reality can be frustrating. Consider what in your marriage you do have control over, and address with your spouse the things that are within their control to change.
Consider the Alternative
It can be helpful to place yourself in a different mindset. If you’re married, try to place yourself in the mentality that you are definitely going to pursue divorce. How does that make you feel? If envisioning yourself divorced or going through the divorce process makes you feel relieved or happy, you may want to begin pursuing that option.
Kids, Cars, Co-Parenting & More
Before you decide to divorce, consider all the things that your divorce would affect. The divorce process and life after divorce becomes increasingly more complex the more factors are involved, including children, assets, debts, retirement, alimony, and more.
Should I Get a Divorce? The Quiz
There are countless quizzes out there to help you decide whether you should get divorced. Some of those include:
Ultimately, a quiz can’t make the decision for you. It can, however, reveal your feelings about divorce. Talk candidly with your spouse, if possible, about your thoughts on the subject. The Rancho Cucamonga divorce lawyers at Chung & Ignacio, LLP are also here for you – to answer questions, to provide guidance, and to walk you through the divorce process should you choose to make that decision.
Free divorce consultations are available now, so contact us to learn more!